BBC Radio 4 Woman's Hour - learning to lie. Respect for patient autonomy is particularly important in the case of people who are terminally ill, as they are likely to be particularly vulnerable to manipulation of the truth. In truth, we consider those who are too honest to be blunt, antisocial and even pathological. "I have never cheated on my wife" (except last Thursday), "I did not steal the cakes" (on Thursday afternoon), "I did not touch the painting" (but my glove did), Formal language conventions: 'sincerely yours', 'pleased to meet you', Generalisation: 'it always rains in Manchester'. When we do it well, we get what we want.

They then experience all the bad consequences of being lied to, Surveys suggest that the majority of patients want to be told the truth, even if it's bad, The patient won't properly understand the truth, It's the duty of the professional to communicate the truth in a way that each particular patient can understand, and to check that they really have understood it. I will reconsider this issue in a later newsletter when I write about children’s lies and why we don’t want them to tattle.

If I told you lying was good for you, you probably wouldn’t believe me. Lying is a form of deception, but not all forms of deception are lies. When we ask a friend if we did a good job, we want the response to be yes, regardless of its legitimacy. Are there some truthful alternatives to using a lie to deal with the particular problem? If 10 lies are worse than 1 lie then it would seem to be a good thing to tell the first lie, but if lying is always wrong then it's wrong to tell the first lie... Nobody who writes about lying nowadays can do so without acknowledging an enormous debt to this groundbreaking book: Lying: Moral choice in public and private life, by Sisela Bok, 1978. Because you’re a girl and when a girl says she’s fine, she’s lying. If there was a universal law that it was generally OK to tell lies then life would rapidly become very difficult as everyone would feel free to lie or tell the truth as they chose, it would be impossible to take any statement seriously without corroboration, and society would collapse. This argument would seem to teach that it's not an unethical lie to tell a mugger that you have no money (although it is a very unwise thing to do), and it is not an unethical lie to tell a death squad that you don't know where their potential victim is hiding. 23. This conversation captures all four points; think fast, keep your facts in check, be confident, and never quit lying. —John Cusack. After all, we’ve been taught the importance of lying from a very early age. Then there are the deceptions that are required by politeness — “thanks so much for the lovely party” or “that color really looks good on you”. “Sorry I am on my way out the door”, an excuse given by people who do not feel brave enough to be truthful even to a totally unknown telephone solicitor.

But - and it's a big 'but' - even this probably only applies in a particular context - if I tell you lies about the number of children I have, that doesn't entitle you to lie to me about the time of the next train to London, although it would make it very hard for me to complain if you were to lie to me about the number of children in your family. The lies of everyday life where it doesn’t matter if they are detected – no punishment or rewards — that lies are easily told flawlessly. Human behaviour suggests that we do feel less obliged to be truthful to liars than to people who deal with us honestly. it requires a person to value everyone involved equally and not to give extra value to their own wishes, it requires a person to consider the consequences to society in general of telling lies as well as the consequences for those actually involved. Consider the case where telling a lie would mean that 10 other lies would not be told. Pretty good article. In the Gulag or in concentration camps prisoners can gain an advantage by lying about their abilities, the misbehaviour of fellow-prisoners, whether they've been fed, and so on. To maintain privacy, without asserting that right, is another reason why people may lie.

Boasting about something untrue is an obvious instance.

Lying to someone is not treating them as an end in themselves, but merely as a means for the liar to get what they want. This has a certain commonsense appeal, but it's also quite impractical since it requires a person to work out in advance the likely good and bad consequences of the lie they are about to tell and balance the good against the bad. In serious lies there is a threat of significant damage if the lie is discovered: loss of freedom, money, job, relationship, reputation, or even life itself. Since joining Forbes in 2004, my job as a staff writer has taken me from the sidelines of an NFC championship game to live tapings of American Idol; from the soundstage of a Beyonce video to the wings of a Glenn Beck show; from the red carpets at award shows to the corner offices on back lots. But don't worry too much. The liar believes that what they are 'saying' is not true, A lie does not have to give false information, A lies does not have to be told with a bad (malicious) intention - white lies are an example of lies told with a good intention, the case where someone inadvertently gives true information while believing that they're telling a lie, I want the last helping of pie for myself, so I lie to you that there is a worm in it.

Simply put, we lie because it works. This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled.

Sissela Bok says that this device is recommended to doctors by one textbook. Then there are the deceptions that are required by politeness — “thanks so much for the lovely party” or “that color really looks good on you”. An example of this is a negotiation in which both parties will lie to each other ('that's my best price', 'I'll have to leave it then') in a way that everyone involved understands. It's certainly not foolproof, but it may be helpful. But trust me--I’m not lying. Whether we’re embellishing our credentials or strengthening our stories, we often tell untruths to make ourselves appear and feel better.

I don’t consider these to be lies, anymore than bluffing in poker is a lie, acting in a play is lying, or the asking price not being the selling price.

Deontologists don't always agree on how we arrive at 'moral laws', or on what such laws are, but one generally accepted moral law is 'do not tell lies'. However, of the most common motives for telling lies, avoiding punishment is the primary motivator for both children and adults. You’re looking at the clock and you can’t even fathom why they’re lying.

All rights reserved. Avoiding punishment is the most frequent reason people tell serious lies, regardless of their age, whether it be to avoid the speeding ticket or being grounded.

On average, they claim to have told three lies per ten minutes of conversation. It is only in such serious lies, in which the liar would be punished if detected, that lies are detectable from demeanor – facial expression, body movements, gaze, voice, or words. In fact, we lie so readily that the dishonesty becomes automatic. how long a time-period should be used in assessing the consequences?

In these circumstances, we tend to ignore deception clues and excuse otherwise suspicious behaviors to avoid the potentially negative consequences of uncovering the lies we’re told.

Jokes: 'there was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman', Unpredictable situations: 'it won't rain today', Sporting tips: 'Pegleg is unbeatable in the 3:30 race', Conjuring tricks: 'There's nothing up my sleeve', they are not intended to harm the person lied to, they are not intended to harm anyone else, they don't actually harm anyone (or only do trivial harm), the lie is about something morally trivial, they aren't told so often that they devalue what you say, the person being lied to is deprived of information that they might find useful even if they found it unpleasant, the person telling the lies may find it easier to lie in future and they may come to blur the boundary between white lies and more blameworthy lies, Respect for autonomy: acknowledging that patients can make decisions and giving them the information they need to make sensible and informed choices, Doing no harm: doing the minimum harm possible to the patient, Beneficence: balancing the risks, costs and benefits of medical action so as to produce the best result for the patient, Justice: using limited medical resources fairly, legally and in accordance with human rights principles, Lying may be good therapy: the doctor may believe that the patient should only be given information that will help their treatment, Lying deprives the patient of the chance to decide whether they want the treatment - highly intrusive treatment near the end of life may prolong life, but at greatly reduced quality, and the patient, if properly informed, might decline such treatment, The truth may harm the patient: a patient may, for example, give up hope, go into a decline or suffer a heart attack if given a depressing diagnosis and prognosis - they may even choose to kill themselves, Such information should be given in a way that minimizes harm -- the patient should be appropriately prepared to receive the information and given proper support after being given bad news, Surveys suggest that patients don't in general go into a severe decline or choose to kill themselves, Respect for autonomy requires the patient to be given the chance to consider all legal courses of action, no matter how undesirable other people may think they are, Lying deprives the patient of the opportunity to take meaningful decisions about their life, based on accurate medical information, The patient may realise that the symptoms they experience and the way their disease progresses don't fit what they have been told. Most moral philosophers would say that you are not justified in lying to another person because they have lied to you.

…

Do we have different standards for people who take the initiative to inform as compared to those who inform when directly asked to reveal information? If they'd stolen some sheep on Tuesday they could safely tell the court "I did not steal those sheep" as long as they added in their mind "on Monday". His list was: The reason for lying that gets most sympathy from people is lying because something terrible will happen if you don't lie. When people recover from their depressions, they become less honest. Christian theologian St. Augustine (354-430) taught that lying was always wrong, but accepted that this would be very difficult to live up to and that in real life people needed a get-out clause. Lying is probably one of the most common wrong acts that we carry out (one researcher has said 'lying is an unavoidable part of human nature'), so it's worth spending time thinking about it.

The solution might be to consider what an ideal person would have done in the particular circumstances. Sisella Bok, author of a major philosophical book on the subject of lying, defines a lie as: an intentionally deceptive message in the form of a statement. Most people would approve of that white lie and would regard telling the truth as a bad thing to do. Most recently, the gig has thrust me from my native New York to Los Angeles.

But a good chunk of them will lie for no reason at all—it’ll be ten o’clock and they’ll tell you it’s nine.

“I thought I was only going 55 miles an hour officer” claims the driver speeding at 70 mph. The catch is, we don’t call it lying, we call it tact or social grace. When we do it well, we get what we want. However, to use president Trump as a reference for lying is really showing the true colors of the writer. Most of us would accept that an unbreakable rule against lying would be unworkable, but a more sophisticated rule (perhaps one with a list of exceptions) might be something we could live with. O what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.

One executive observed to this writer that a useful test for the justifiability of an action that he was uncertain about was to imagine what the press would write afterwards if they discovered what he had done and compared it to what he had said in advance.

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